


It's A BoyGirl Thing

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-19
Updated: 2009-04-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 06:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12404895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Harry and Hermione have been next door neighbors since childhood, but couldn't be any different. In fact they hate each other, but all that is about to change, courtesy of a trip to a local museum, and a run in with a Merlin Statue. They wake up the next morning in each others bodies for a week.





	It's A BoyGirl Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_It was an early June morning Hermione Jean Granger had gotten up from bed and was getting ready for school.Now who is this Hermione Granger you might ask. Well she is an 18 year old girl from Hogwarts Academy. She was an honor student and top of all of her classes. She had the perfect life. Her parents were dentists, and they had the perfect home, a beautiful little yellow house, with the perfect green lawn, the perfect yellow and pink rose garden in the front, and a beautiful white fence surrounding the little home. It looked like it had come out of a postcard. Hermione Granger seemed to reflect her house in every way except one. She has a pretty face, a graceful build, a mind of a scholar and bushy brown hair. Now she wasn’t always like that, when she was a little girl she had bushier hair and buck teeth. Hermione was glad she grew out of the buck teeth. Now all she hoped for was hair to be in perfect ringlets, but she was the perfect daughter…_

_Harry Potter was the exact opposite of Hermione. He was a star striker of their school’s football team and was horrible at school. Unlike Hermione he was popular. He was dating the head cheerleader Cho Chang and was best friends with Ronald Weasley and Draco Malfoy both boys on the football team. Ronald also had a younger sister, Ginny who was also on the cheer leading team, along with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. They were all pretty and somewhat conceited. Ginny was dating Draco Malfoy and they have been together since her freshman year. Parvati was dating Ron but they had an extremely rocky relationship. Ron didn’t kiss Parvati in public. He seemed to be ashamed of her, but in private things were the exact opposite. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger hated each other with a passion. To him, Hermione was this dull, boring nerd who had no point in living. To Hermione, he was just this big idiot, who would go no where in life, and end up working in a burger shack, or living off his father’s money._

\--

“If I just breathe, Let it fill the space in between, I'll know everything is alright” Hermione woke up to her alarm and turned to face her clock. Her eyes widened when she saw it read 6:15am and jumped out of bed. “Oh, no, no, no, I am going to be late!” Hermione said in a panic. “I can’t believe I slept in. This is going to ruin my schedule. Oh and where are my Mary Jane’s!” Hermione Granger right now was head first under the bed looking for her second shoe. There were only a few weeks of school left till she would be heading off to Ravenclaw University. She not only couldn’t wait for graduation, but she had an interview next week guaranteeing her application to Ravenclaw. “Ah, here it is!” She exclaimed finding her shoe next to her night stand. She stood up and looked at the clock. “Wow, I guess I have time to spare.” Hermione then looked around to admire her room. Hermione loved her room. She and her mother spent last summer designing it to her taste, which wasn’t far from her mothers. The walls were a nice light baby blue, and a beautiful white wood frames bed with a blue theme. Not only was the carpet and bed frame white, but so were the dresser, night stand, closet door, full length mirror, and bedroom door. Hermione smiled and turned to the vanity, the only thing in her room that wasn’t white.

She smiled at her reflection. She had done her hair up like every other day, pulled back with a light pink headband. She turned around and looked at her mirror and smiled at her clothing choice for the day. She was wearing a nice simple light pink cashmere sweater, over a navy blue and gray plaid skirt that ended just above the knee by 2 inches. Hermione looked at her desk and saw an unfinished extra credit assignment she started for history. She already had a 98 average in that class, but she was hoping that it would help her get to 100. She sat down and continued to write the paper. Then at exactly 7:00am, 10 minutes before breakfast with her parents a loud rock song was playing next door. “Ohmigosh, could he play that music any louder!” exclaimed Hermione. She got up and walked over to his window and lifted it up looking over to her neighbors’ house. “Potter! POTTER!” Next door to the Granger’s were the Potter’s. The Potter’s were Lily and James Potter with their son Harry. Hermione tried to get Harry’s attention, but his music was too loud. Hermione climbed out of her window and grabbed a tree branch that was attached to a tree in-between the two houses. She then climbed to the other side of the tree and went over to Harry’s window, opened it and went inside.

Harry Potter sighed, another day of school. The only thing he ever looked forward to was football. He went to his closet and went to look for a clean shirt. Harry Potter was 18 year old and the star striker of his school. He had black hair that was long enough to be in his eyes, just covering his ears, lightly touching the back of his neck. He never properly put a comb to his hair, just using his hand to brush it out. Harry also had emerald green eyes, eyes of his mothers, which he was very proud of. Harry was close to his parents. He had almost lost them in a car crash when he was only a year old. His father was very well off. His grandfather was a part owner of a company and his father James was now part owner taking his grandfather’s place. Harry found a nice clean shirt and put in on, grabbed his towel, turned on his i pod, and walked to the bathroom for a shower. Harry finished his shower and wrapped his towel around his waist and threw his clothes into the basket. He walked into the hallway and heard his ipod stopped playing music. He ran to his room to see if his mom was trying to clean his room again when he opened his door and saw the one and only, Hermione Granger climbing out of his window. He went over to her and grabbed her back and pulled her into his room. Hermione made a surprised squeak and fell back into Harry’s room.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?!” Harry exclaimed.

“Well, for your information I was just leaving!” Hermione said sharply with a glare.

Harry sent the glare back. “You have no right to be in here, and why did you turn off my music!”

Hermione huffed. “It was too loud, I couldn’t concentrate and you didn’t turn it lower when I was _trying_ to ask you to before!”

Harry shook his head, “Well that’s your problem then, not mine. If you wanted to block out my music you should have put on ear plugs.”

“Aarrrggghhhh, you are just so, so… eeerrrrrrrr!” Hermione said frustrated and turned to climb out of his window. “You do NOT know how much I hate you Potter. You are the most arrogant, pompous, idiotic person I have EVER met.” Then Hermione climbed into her room slamming her window shut and pulling the blue curtains over.

When Hermione finally left, Harry started to get dressed. He finished pulling on his jeans and walked out of his room. Harry walked into the kitchen to the smell of bacon and eggs. He sat down at the kitchen table and watched as his mom tipped the frying pan over his plate and dumped his breakfast onto his plate. Harry smiled and thanked his mom and started eating, while looking over to his dad. “So, Harry, how was your football last Friday? I don’t think you told us.” said James Potter. Lily Potter nodded behind her husband while grabbing a carton on orange juice. “Oh, it was good dad; we won against Durmstrang, 6 to 7!” Harry said. James nodded, “That’s good. You know there are a lot of college scouts looking for someone to give a scholarship to, and we don’t have enough money with the company to pay for the full intuition. If the business started hyping up again, I don’t even think we would be able to pay the full amount.” Lily nodded, “Yes, and we have to make the down payment by August.” Harry nodded, he knew his only chance to get to go to college was to get a scholarship. Sure his family had money, but they used that money for the house payments, and after the car accident 17 years ago, health bills still needed to be paid.

\--

Hermione looked over to her clock, 7:05 am. Hermione smiled and walked down the stairs to the dining room for breakfast with her parents. She walked into the kitchen and saw a nice warm bowl of oatmeal waiting for her mother and father sitting at the table. “Oh, Hermione, just in time, you almost missed breakfast.” said Hermione’s mother, Elizabeth Granger. “Yes, dear, we started to worry.” said Hermione’s father, Phillip Granger. Hermione smiled shyly, “I’m sorry; I was working on an extra credit assignment or history.” Elizabeth smiled, ‘Don’t worry sweetie, if it will help you get your grades higher it must always come first.” Hermione smiled and finished her oatmeal, “I’m going to head off to school now. I’ll see you at dinner.” Hermione then got up and kissed her father and mother on the cheek and left…

Harry thought about that accident when he was young while eating breakfast. His parents were driving home from a party, and he was in the backseat of the car. They were all having a good time when another car went flying at them. It hit his parents head on, and the doctors weren’t sure if they were going to live. James had been in a full body cast, and Lily had gone into a coma and had been on life-support for 2 months. During that time Harry lived with his godfather Sirius Black, and sometimes was taken care of by his “Uncle Remus Lupin”. Eventually his mother had gotten off life-support and could survive on her own, but she was still unconscious. James stayed in the hospital for a year needing all his bones to heal, and also for kidney failure, and liver function. Lily regained consciousness and stayed with Harry at Sirius’s house while James was in the hospital. The Potters had found out when Lily regained consciousness that their house had been burned down, and their friend Peter Pettigrew had been at the house when it got burned. They also found out that Peter along with his partner, Tom Riddle had stolen their company’s money, forcing them to restart. Luckily Sirius and Remus didn’t lose their financial part of the company. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had all been good friends, and ended up creating a real estate company they called, Marauders. Each had their own signature animal for their business. Remus was a wolf, James was a stag, Sirius was a black dog and Peter was a rat. No one knew why they wanted those animals, but never questioned them.

Harry smiled; think back to the stories, and things he father did when he was young with his friends. He looked over to the clock and saw it was 7:30. He grabbed his juice and chugged it down and running out the door, yelling bye to his parents. He ran out of the house and saw his best friend Ron Weasley sitting in his car in front of his house. Harry smiled, ‘Hey Weasel! You’re early today mate.” Ron smirked, “Well, there’s cheer leading practice this morning. What did you expect?” Harry shook his head and jumped into the car. “Ron, you really have to slow down.” Ron shook his head and flipped on his ipod. “Mate, I couldn’t even if I tried.”  
On the way they saw Hermione Granger walking to school. “Hey, Harry look. It’s Granger.” Harry looked over and smiled, “Yea, and I think she is standing a little too close to that big puddle of water.” Ron smirked, “I think we should teach her a lesson about standing too close to the street.” Harry smiled and nodded, “I agree, she might get wet.” Harry and Ron high-five and Ron drove over to the puddle, splashing Hermione and covering her with water.

\--

Hermione looked up to see a huge wave of water splashing over her. She braced herself for the splash and felt the water pelting on her skin. She looked up and saw Harry Potter and his friend Ron driving past. “That’s pay back!” Harry yelled. Hermione glared and pulled herself together and continued walking to school. It was pointless to have a fit. She got to school dry, but her hair had gone into a large bushy mess. She had tried to straighten it that morning, but the wave of water just ruined it. She walked up the stairs of the school just in time, hearing the first bell ring. She walked over to her locker and saw the one and only Harry freakin’ Potter standing near by with his cheerleader girlfriend Cho Chang. “Oh look, if it isn’t Miss Granger. Let me ask, bad morning?” Harry Potter said, causing Cho to laugh. “Hmm, you know, I am not surprised that your insults have no…insult in them. You have no intelligence to create a proper insulting sentence that would make sense. Resulting in a poor education and poor future with a job at a burger shack with a name tag that says Jerry and your ex-cheerleader wife would have lost all her…beauty to botox and plastic surgery, and will be cheating on you with both of your best friends. And I will own a successful business ordering a burger from you.” Harry scowled and glared at Hermione while Cho looked into her mirror worrying about her looks. Harry opened his mouth to reply when the second bell rang for homeroom.

\--  
  


Hermione sat in her 5th period English class in the computer room listening to the teacher, Ms. McGonagall who was talking to them about William Shakespeare. All the students were looking through computer textbooks on the computer following along. “Shakespeare divided his time between London and Stratford during his career. In 1596, the year before he bought New Place as his family home in Stratford, Shakespeare was living in the parish of St. Helen's, Bishops gate, north of the River Thames.” Ms. McGonagall said, she looked around and shook her head. “I advise all of you to write what I am going to say down.” Hermione smiled and continued writing what Ms. McGonagall was reading when her pen ran out of ink. She put the pen in her bag beside her, and searched for a new one. Beside her was Harry, he looked over to see her bent over looking through her bag and smirked. He leaned over and with his pen typed down the first porn website he could remember. Hermione sat up to see the most inappropriate images and hear the most disgusting sounds. Hermione’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped. She clicked backspace and delete repeatedly with no result. She then tried Esc with no success, Ms. McGonagall walked over. “Ms. Granger, I suggest you omit that page this instant before you receive a detention!” Hermione nodded with vigor and turned to glare at a smiling Harry.

\--

Harry was walking down to the front of the school with Cho. She was telling his something about a dress, and Madonna, when he saw the school bus that was taking his 6th period class to their field trip to The Scotlandsdale History Museum. Mr. Binns his history teacher, who was as pale as a ghost, looked up and saw Harry walking towards the class at a slow pace, “Mr. Potter, any day now.” Harry looked up, “Uh…yea, I’m coming.” He looked over to Cho and she grabbed his head and kissed him. They broke apart and Harry walked toward the bus.

At the museum Mr. Binns was telling the class about the Merlin Statue they were looking at. “Merlin matures to an ascendant sage hood and engineers the birth of Arthur through magic and intrigue. Later, Merlin serves as the king's adviser until he is bewitched and imprisoned by The Lady of the Lake.” Mr. Binns told the class. He looked around at his students and saw Harry and Draco looking and touching a nude statue of Guinevere. “Mr. Potter, would you mind paying attention, or does Mr. Malfoy have something more important to say?” Harry and Draco’s heads whipped up so fast their necks cracked. “No Mr. Binns…erm...Sorry?” Harry said quickly. Draco looked over to Harry then over to Mr. Binns and nodded in agreement. Mr. Binns pursed his lips and continued, “Merlin is best known as the wizard featured in Arthurian legend. Now class I want you all to pair up and pick an important figure from the Arthurian legend and have a report on that figure tomorrow.” Harry and Draco started walking off when Mr. Binns called out, “Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, I don’t think so. Hmm… Mr. Malfoy you go with Mr. Longbottom over there, and Mr. Potter you can go with…ah… you can join Ms. Granger.” Harry groaned, “ahaha have _fun_ Harry.” Draco said laughing. Then he walked off and joined Neville.

Harry walked over to Hermione, “So how’s the little pencil neck virgin Einsteinette? Check out any good porno sites?”

Hermione glared, “I can’t believe I am stuck with you. Let’s hope I don’t breathe in any arse germs.”

Harry glared back, “Well, let’s hope I don’t breathe in any pencil neck virgin disease.”

“You already said that retard.” said Hermione.

Harry shook his head, “Well, it’s true.”

Hermione’s mouth dropped, “Get stuffed!”

“Whoa.” Harry said in faux-pain.

“I Hate You!” Hermione said furiously.

Harry smirked, “That’s because you want to secretly have sex with me.”

Hermione’s jaw clenched in fury, “Ha, when I do decide to lose my virginity, I had always imagined it with someone of my own species.”

Harry chucked, “There is no one else in your spices except a monkey or Longbottom.”

“You are such a moron.” said Hermione, “You really think the world revolves around rock music, football and hanging out with the right crowd.”

“You know you make me sick, you think you’re so different to everyone else.” Harry said.

“Different _from_.” Hermione stated.

Harry looked at her in confusion, “What?” 

Hermione sighed, “You said different _to_ , the correct phraseology is different _from_.”

Harry shook his head, “Thanks for the information smartass, now I can say you’re no different _from_ any other geek with books instead of friends, and know you won’t have to open your big fat mouth to correct me.”

“Neanderthal”

“Spazz”

“Toad”

“Harlot”

Hermione glared again, “You know, I should pity you, but I can’t. I hate you too much. I’d rather cut off my own legs with a rusted spoon, before I would be anything like you!”

Harry blinked, then blinked again and then glared, “Ditto.”

Hermione smirked, “Ditto?”

Harry nodded, “Ditto.”

“Well then double ditto!” said Hermione.

“Double, double triple ditto times infinity!” Harry said.

During their argument, the Merlin statue cast a spell on the couple. Harry and Hermione then at the same time rubbed their shoulder that was facing the statue. Harry and Hermione glared and both turned the opposite direction and walked off.

\--

Hermione was finishing on her and Harry’s report on Lancelot for Mr. Binns. She had asked Harry to help, but he refused. Instead of failing Hermione did it one her own. She looked at the clock and it said 11:40pm, so she climbed into bed. At 11:50pm, while Harry and Hermione slept, things changed. Then at exactly 12:00 Harry and Hermione’s eyes opened briefly, and closed again, back to sleep

\--

Harry woke up to a different alarm that Tuesday morning. He looked to his clock and saw, it wasn’t his clock, or his nightstand, or his bedroom. He sat up and looked around. He wasn’t in his house. Harry sat there thinking, “I am not in my house, but it looks familiar.” Harry looked out the window and what did he see, but his own house. His eyes widened, “I don’t remember sleeping over at the Granger's, or in Hermione’s bed for one!” Harry panicked thinking about what had happened the night before hoping he didn’t sleep with Hermione.

He shook his head trying to clear it of any type of thoughts and remembered he went right to sleep in his own bed last night. Harry stood up and felt odd, not only did he feel lighter, but a weight on his chest. He looked down and saw…breasts. His eyes widened in shock, “What the hell!! Why do I have tits, bloody breasts!?” Harry felt other places on his to check for any other changes. “Okay, the hair is softer! Why? And I have skinnier arms and legs. Where is all the muscle? -Gasp- NO!” Harry looked down and lifted the waistband of his pajama bottoms, “NO! No, no, no!! It’s GONE!” Harry looked out the window in panic and saw himself get out of bed. “How can I be getting out of bed when I am right here…Wait.” He spun around and faced the mirror and saw looking back at him…Hermione Granger.

\--

Hermione woke up to the sound of very, _very_ , loud rock music. She opened her eyes and squinted at the clock, 7:00am. Hermione sat up immediately; she blinked once… then twice. “Why in the world am I in Harry’s room?” Hermione looked around feeling taller. She looked to the mirror and saw Harry looking back at her. -Gasp- “What is going on? Why am I in Harry’s body?” Hermione got out of bed and felt something odd between her legs. Hermione looked down, her eyes widening, “Eww! Why is it sticking up, and how do I make it go down!?” Hermione looked to her house and saw herself looking to the mirror. She ran to the window and pulled it open, just as Harry was opening hers. They looked at each other face-to-face and screamed.

“We need to talk!” Hermione yelled across to Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes, “Really! I didn’t think so!” He responded sarcastically. Harry started to climb out of Hermione’s window when she threw a football at his head.

“No not now! Later, after breakfast! First we need to get dressed!” Hermione exclaimed.

Harry nodded and went back into Hermione’s room. “I’ll talk to you when I get out the front door.”

\--

Hermione walked down the stairs, hoping she wouldn’t run into Harry’s parents. She had no idea how to act with them, maybe Harry didn’t speak to his parents, maybe they knew everything about him, they maybe able to tell Harry isn’t acting right, they might not let her…him leave the house, they might even lock him in his room and not let him out until he was ‘better’ if he…she ever could get better. Hermione slowly walked down the started with these thoughts running through her head. Maybe she was over reacting, but who wouldn’t. She walked into the kitchen to see Lily Potter cooking a mix of meats and foods she had never eaten before. She slowly sat down on a chair opposite James Potter looking at the food Lily was putting on her plate with disgust. Lily and James were looking at her, wondering why she was poking her food with her fork.

“Harry dear, are you alright?” Lily asked, putting her hand on Hermione’s…Harry’s forehead.

Hermione nodded, “Erm, yea. I–I just am not that hungry today.”

James’ forehead creased. “Are you sure? You have an early football practice today.”

Hermione had to bit her lip from groaning. Football, a game she never understood, let alone played herself. How in the world was she going to get through the day!

\--

Harry stuck his…Hermione’s head out of his…Hermione’s bedroom door checking to see if anyone was there. Seeing no one he darted out of the room and down the stairs and was just going to pass the dining room when Elizabeth Granger called out.

“Hermione, you haven’t had any of your breakfast yet. Come sit down, I am positive you still have time to eat.”

Harry cringed. He hoped to get out of Hermione’s house without having to talk to her parents. He really needed to talk to Hermione. Harry turned around.

“I, um, sorry Mrs. Gra-Mum. I almost forgot, I woke up a little late. Studying and all…”

Mr. Granger nodded, “Dear, I know school is important, but you should try to live a little. Why I remember I used to have quite a time with a group of friends of mine. We called ourselves the Ma-“ Mr. Granger’s story was cut short by Mrs. Granger.

“Phillip, I am sure Hermione doesn’t want to hear such foolish stories of your…friends.”

Mr. Grangers nodded a slight frown on his face.

“Ah, em, yes dear. Quite right.” Phillip said, picking up his newspaper and getting up to leave.

“Well look at the time, I must be off to work.”

Harry looked at Phillip’s retreating back wondering what he was about to say. Harry turned round and looked down to the bowl in front of him and gagged. The lumpy bowl of oatmeal in front of him sat waiting. Harry looked up at the woman in front of him seeing a questioning look on her face.

“Sweetie, you must eat. Harry swallowed and picked up the spoon next to his hand. He got a spoonful of oatmeal and put it in his mouth, trying to swallow. Elizabeth smiled satisfied and started to get up with the sound of the doorbell.

“I’ll get that dear, and then I’ll be right back to check on you and make sure you eat that whole bowl.”

Harry nodded, and when she left the room spit all the oatmeal in his mouth back into the bowl.

“Ohmigod, these people eat puke.” Harry said while scraping his tongue with the spoon. Then hearing Elizabeth walking back into the room, Harry looked around seeing the dog’s bowl right next to the table. Harry picked up his bowl of oatmeal and dumped the contents into the dog’s bowl and dropping the bowl back onto the table right before Elizabeth walked into the room. Harry looked up to see himself walking into the room after Elizabeth. Hermione looked at Harry at inclined her head to the door. Harry nodded at got up. “Well mum, I’m finished eating, I guess I’ll just be on my way to school.”

Elizabeth nodded and handed Harry Hermione’s bag. “Bye, dear have a good day.” Harry nodded, and Elizabeth looked at him expectantly. Harry turned and looked at Hermione questionably; Hermione mouthed “Kiss her cheek.” Harry turned back and went to kiss Elizabeth’s cheek.

\--

Hermione grabbed her hand and dragged Harry out to her front yard. The two of them walked down the walk and through the front gates of Hermione’s home and walk to the front of Harry’s home when Harry stopped suddenly.

“Okay, Granger. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

Hermione glared at Harry, “How would I know? This isn’t MY fault.”

Harry glared back, “Pssh, yeah, right. I bet you did some of your stupid geek magic to do this to me!”

Hermione closed her eyes in frustration, “Harry, THAT MAKES NO SENSE!”

Harry put his face in his hands, “what are we supposed to do?’

Hermione was about to answer when Ron Weasley drove up to Harry’s house.

“Oi, Mate, what are you doing talking to Granger?”

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and took a few steps back.

“Err…She was telling me about that…erm…history thing…” Hermione answered, hoping he would buy it.

Ron raised his left eyebrow and shook his head, “Whatever mate, just get in the car.” Hermione looked at Harry and got into the passenger seat of the car. Harry’s eyes widened. “What about me?” Hermione smirked; this was the perfect time to get back at Harry for all the misery he caused her. “I guess you’ll have to take the bus.”

Harry’s jaw dropped at Ron and Hermione drove away. Hermione Granger was going to pay, and Harry knew just what he was going to do.

\--

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, “Harry Potter” belong the J.K Rowling and “It’s a Boy/Girl Thing” belongs to Icon Film Distribution.

**Chapter End Notes:** Well this is my first H/Hr story! Enjoy! I apologize for any mistakes. Also when I put football, I am talking about soccer. Thanks to Harry's My Boy on FF.net for beta-ing. I apologize ahead of time for not updating often. I procrastinate a lot. SO, I thank anyone who stays with this story until I update!


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